It started out innocently enough. I swear at this hour, even sober, it seems like a harmless idea. I used to dance in high school...in choraleers (grapevine anyone?), and then in private lessons. I love the feeling of being free on a dance floor and letting my body just go with the beat of the music but let's face it, I am white....very white to the point of translucent ESPECIALLY on the dance floor. I think my sis-in-law has more color than I do when it comes to the dance floor (I have her beat the rest of the time).
So I have been bugging the h*ll out of my girlfriend here to take hip hop lessons with me. I mean come on, she has run how many races with me (even a half marathon), goes shopping with me, to the bar, snowshoeing with me up in VT in freaking February, to ___________ (fill in the blank with whatever other hair brained idea that I may come up with). She has done almost everything with me EXCEPT this.
So why would this be a hair-brained idea? If you have ever watched me "freestyle" (dude that made me giggle just typing it) I have two moves with my feet......left to right and right to left. My arms may vary to up above my head (if I shaved my armpits and remembered deodorant), to out to the side, and then in a left right motion. I look like someone who is convulsing or forgot their meds. Heck, half the people at my wedding thought I was wasted....I guess they saw my dancing.
I have taken many aerobic classes in my day at Bally's and can follow along quite well....sometimes I may jump left when the rest of the people are jumping right but that is when a water break is needed and then I move on (either that or I bust out laughing at the sight of myself in the 8 feet tall mirrors). I have also done many DVD's in the comfort of my own home and if you have seen me do that, then you know that Billy Blanks has personally called me demanding that I give his DVD's back because I am making a mockery of his Tae Bo moves. What I have here is a passion for the moves....I may not get them right but my heart is there.
That leads me to my hair-brained stupid sober idea....what if I combine the learning of hip hop in the comfort of my own home?!?!?!? HELLO!???!? This is what I have been waiting for my whole life! So I go to my absolute happy place website (not Target Mom but just as close).....Barnes and Noble. I swear they made that site for me. So I google Hip Hop at home and the first one is Carmen Electra's Striptease (which is what my friend said she would rather do...actually she said Pole Dancing which is what that is....minus the pole....John may like it if I did that but this is not about him). The third one down is a Hip Hop video that I can also "Dance off the Inches" and I am up for that as long as the inches aren't coming off my knockers. The only thing stopping me from running to grab my wallet is the girl on the front cover is WHITE!
Mark my words people.....I will learn Hip Hop one way or another....
My poor kids.....please pray for them
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